A Little Bit Fit

Well, I’ve decided to go for. I’m starting Phase 1 of the South Beach diet tomorrow. The “diet” sounds like it is going to be a good fit for me. I’ve been eating grains and sugars in high amounts for the last month and I feel like a crazy person right now. My thoughts about food are very disordering right now but I’m pretty sure this is most driven by consuming way too much refined carb.

I keep doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. I know what that says about me and I know I want to change that. I could look at myself and think that I’ve gotten no where in terms of fixing my disordered lifestyle. I am still over fat and over weight and I’m definitely under fit, but just because I haven’t reached any sort of finish line doesn’t mean that I haven’t made progress. I’m down 35 pounds from where I started two years ago and  I am fitter even if it doesn’t feel that way all the time. I’m just really struggling to get my eating under control. It is NOT under control and this past week bordered on bona fide bingeing, especially with regards to sugar. I want to change that. Stress is my enemy. Lack of time and energy doesn’t help but I can DO this. Tonight I’m thinking South Beach. I’ve sworn off diets but I’m craving structure and something new. Hmmm?

I’ve been away from blogging for what feels like forever. First I was working in the field and had no internet connection and when I came back I felt too busy. There is almost never enough time for me to write anything decent that doesn’t involve work. Lately, however, I’ve been missing it a lot. I can’t put my finger on why exactly.

Another thing I haven’t been able to pin down is shape I want this blog to take. Part of me would like a repository for life in general but that isn’t the main reason I’m being pulled back to blogging. Fitness and my relationship with it is really what I’ve been thinking about most when I’ve been thinking about blogging and, as the title of this blog suggests, I suspect that is where I’m going with this.

Lately my relationship with walking, running and just about everything else “active” has been suffering at the hands of this thing called a PhD thesis that I’m working on. It sucks. In the sense that, if I let it, it will quite literally suck up every last trace of energy, leaving nothing left for taking care of my health and general well-being. Just a couple weeks of too much sitting in front of a computer screen and to many nights worrying about data and I’m feeling stiff and miserable, bloated and unhappy. It’s not good for me and it isn’t good for my creative potential or ability to think clearly about science. In short, I need to recognize that getting and staying fit are going to be important if I’m going to get through this thing sanely.

So I’ll need to be brief, but I hope to post regularly. As with probably the majority of blogs, much of it will be boring. No matter. It is here for me. Being able to write and is enough. It helps me observe myself and I’m feeling that is important these days. I decided, very deliberately, to avoid taking up posting again on my older blog. It had its time and served its purpose but I’m after a new start. Something fresh, like a new pencil and a crisp notebook. It feels better that way.

Tomorrow’s Intentions: Either a 30 min run or a an intro turbulence training session (either at the gym with intervals done on the bike or at home with zenmaster (hubby) and intervals done on the stairs that run up the hill one block from our house) I’ll pick whichever I’m feeling up for but I’m aiming for TT. Which ever I do, I’ll do a good stretching session after since I’m feeling stiff as these days and it hurts. Food tracking on Fitday – more veggies, limited grains. I’ll weigh myself for a baseline.